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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Thursday, January 8, 2009

American Culture

It's difficult being an English boy in San Francisco: I miss my mother, I miss the Queen, I miss the Queen Mother even more because she's far away and also dead. But the thing I miss most is knowing how 'to read' people: the behaviour of Americans often leaves very confused indeed.

For example, I was walking home last night when I was stopped by two men wearing masks and carrying guns. They mumbled something to me, though the only word I understood was 'ass'. Was it rude of me to run away screaming? Perhaps they just wanted to chat? Has anyone else been involved in any cultural misunderstandings like this? Thanks in advance for any replies. Or if you just want to shout at me, you'll find me next to the photocopier.

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Hannah Benedict said...

Brian's got this really good set of CDs called 'Good Morning America' or something... I think Jean's borrowing it at the moment.

I still can't get used to people driving on the wrong side of the road. Lunatics.

January 9, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Anonymous Hannah Benedict said...

Brian's got this really good set of CDs called 'Good Morning America' or something... I think Jean's borrowing it at the moment.

I still can't get used to people driving on the wrong side of the road. Lunatics.

January 9, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Anonymous Brian Jones said...

That reminds me Jean, can I have those CDs back now? You've been hanging on to them for ages.

If you really really need them, then could you just give back the CD entitled 'How to kiss a stranger in under 5 minutes'? I need to work on my chat-up lines.

January 9, 2009 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Brian Jones said...

That reminds me Jean, can I have those CDs back now? You've been hanging on to them for ages.

If you really really need them, then could you just give back the CD entitled 'How to kiss a stranger in under 5 minutes'? I need to work on my chat-up lines.

January 9, 2009 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Bruno Delavigne said...

Edward, in American English, 'Ass' is commonly used in contexts which have little or nothing to do with actual asses. It can be both adjective (it is a hot-ass day) or noun ('and then we danced our asses off at the disco). Other times, it refers to your posterior, which I believe is an 'arse' in your country. Of course, it's entirely possible that these young gentlemen were simply inquiring about your well-being. Then again, they could have been concerned about your ass. It is a bit boney. I hope this helpful-ass comment has enlightened your ass.

January 12, 2009 at 6:51 PM  
Anonymous Bruno Delavigne said...

Edward, in American English, 'Ass' is commonly used in contexts which have little or nothing to do with actual asses. It can be both adjective (it is a hot-ass day) or noun ('and then we danced our asses off at the disco). Other times, it refers to your posterior, which I believe is an 'arse' in your country. Of course, it's entirely possible that these young gentlemen were simply inquiring about your well-being. Then again, they could have been concerned about your ass. It is a bit boney. I hope this helpful-ass comment has enlightened your ass.

January 12, 2009 at 6:51 PM  
Anonymous Gee said...

Hi Limey my dude!
First and foremost always keep pictures of your favourite queens and other girlfriends tight in your wallet.
About your demeanor: how to manage to shun troubles?
Never walk home at night, do it before sunset. Don't walk on the sidewalk but shuffle in the middle of the street with your eyes to the ground. Bring always a empty bottle of Irish whisky in your left hand and a put out fag in your right. And mumble along scraps of their star-spangled banner peppered now and then with "I'll get your ass."

January 18, 2009 at 6:02 PM  
Anonymous Gee said...

Hi Limey my dude!
First and foremost always keep pictures of your favourite queens and other girlfriends tight in your wallet.
About your demeanor: how to manage to shun troubles?
Never walk home at night, do it before sunset. Don't walk on the sidewalk but shuffle in the middle of the street with your eyes to the ground. Bring always a empty bottle of Irish whisky in your left hand and a put out fag in your right. And mumble along scraps of their star-spangled banner peppered now and then with "I'll get your ass."

January 18, 2009 at 6:02 PM  

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