My night with Obama

The Yes We Did! inaugural ball in Washington DC on Tuesday night was the hottest ticket in town. The music was playing and Beyoncé was stepping on my feet when a large man wearing sunglasses tapped me on the shoulder. 'Bruno Delavigne,' he said, 'come with me, the president is dying to meet you.'

We chatted, we danced, we drank champagne... In fact the 30 unforgettable seconds I spent with Barack and Michelle Obama will go down in Delavigne Corporation history. For such a suave and urbane man, it was no surprise when the president expressed a love of Delavigne perfumes. I reached into my pocket to give him my business card when five bodyguards jumped on me. I shouted 'Easy boys, there are plenty of cards to go around', but it became apparent that these guys weren't perfume lovers.

To cut a long and violent story short, Barack was very apologetic and even helped me pick up some of my teeth from the floor. Moreover, he promised to buy a case of Tiger Lily for Michelle, and also offered to fly me back to San Francisco in Air Force One. Naturally I declined but I did use the moment to tender my services as an adviser in his new administration.

I can't say yet when I'll be back in the office. I'm currently undergoing some security checks on my background and acquaintances.

Brian, if any government officials come to the office, be sure to hide Horatio.