My resolutions

I just wanted to inform you on how my New Year's resolutions are coming along:

1) Training for the San Francisco 'Iron Man' competition: Yesterday I swam for at least 15 minutes, this is progress, especially with the effort of keeping my hair out of the water. My pecs and six-pack are looking buff, and I could crack a peanut with my tight buttocks! Negative side-effects to the anabolic steroids I ordered from Israel are the private parts of my body that seem to be shrinking, and the lactating which is very uncomfortable.

2) Getting out of debt: I've cut up those credit cards (thanks Horatio!), and curbed my spending (sort of, I did see a pair of magnificent Cucci shoes in the sales). I even checked my receipts on Sunday! It took me 3 hours so I don't know if I'll be doing it again. I'm bringing in packed lunch everyday, and I've stopped going to the canteen, where the food is soooo expensive. I miss eating with my colleagues though, my desk can be a lonely place at lunchtime, especially as Bruno is away.

3) Giving up encounters with random strangers: Well, resolutions are there to be broken. I was drunk, I was wearing my lucky shirt, and I didn't want to go home to an empty bed... Anyway sticking with 2 out of 3 isn't bad.

What about your resolutions? Have you made any?