The Delavigne Corporation Blog

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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Philip is dead! Long live Philip.

Funky Friday 34 is in the books and it was a good one! My best salesman was eaten by a bear, but yet I find myself in a good mood, strangely. Actually there's a song that I can't get out of my head. It's about pigeons, or death or something. Maybe it's both. To be honest, I don't know what it's about. Maybe you have some ideas? Have a listen.

Now I want you to do 2 things for me:

1. Tell me what you will miss about Philip Cheeter.
2. Tell me what you think this song is about.


Hi Bruno, I love you and your perfume company. Your pink shirts are really sexy.
1. I will miss Philip's voice and his special relationship with Icarus.
2. I think this song is a metaphor for the ephemeral, fleeting nature of life.

Best answer gets a personalized audio recorded by yours truly. Go!

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Delavigne Corp staff pay tribute to Philip Cheeter

Susan Bliss responds:

Despite our many differences, Philip Cheeter and I were like brother and sister. He enjoyed nothing more than winding me up by looking up my skirt, and I enjoyed nothing more than slapping him in the face and reporting him to the HR department. Now that Philip is no longer with us, I will feel safer in the workplace, but my life will be much less interesting.

Edward Moon responds:

Philip was like a father to me. Granted, a father who largely ignored me and, when he did acknowledge my existence, it was to ask me to warm the toilet seat before he used it. Good bye, 'Dad', you will be sadly missed.

Hannah Benedict responds:

Philip was a very talented salesperson, and a gifted leader of men and women. His cheesy jokes and loud ties will be missed by everyone in the sales team. However, I am happy to announce that I will be taking care of Philip's extremely comfortable executive chair now that he is no longer with us. This decision is not up for debate.

Brian Jones responds:

Philip, Philip, Philip. Your charm and pearly white teeth brightened our office more than the sun brightens an English garden in summer. I will miss your teasing as much as your strong physical presence and your musky aftershave. I'm trying not to cry because I know how much you hate men who cry, but I'm moved tears by your sudden disappearance. Boo hoo hoo.

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Monday, March 2, 2009

So you want me to die, eh?

Funky Friday Result Recap:

Sadly, a member of the Delavigne staff has been eaten by a bear! Let's look back at their life and give them the funeral of their dreams!

Whose funeral will be taking place in next month's Funky Friday?

Philip Cheeter, Sales Director and fan of power ballads and fast cars, for a funeral full of weeping blondes. 34.71%

It's official! GymGlish users have decided that Philip Cheeter, Delavigne's charming Sales Director, has been eaten by a bear!


Well played, GymGlish users.

You're like so many of my ex-girlfriends, openly wishing for my death by bear consumption.

Fair enough, but I have just one question: Why me? I mean, I have likely dated some of you, probably around 37% of you. And yes, it probably ended badly, in many cases with a restraining order or a pregnancy test, but really, you want me to be eaten by a bear? Really?

I'll take that as a compliment.


Adios amigos. Get ready for the funeral of your lives.

P.S. Thanks to all those who commented. Feel free to continue in this post or the previous one.

Philip Cheeter
This post was sent from my iPhone within a bear's stomach.

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