The Delavigne Corporation Blog

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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Monday, April 27, 2009

The results are in! The results are in!

I spent all day triple checking the numbers (and then quadruple checking for the fun of it) and the results speak for themselves. Wait, actually they don't, so why don't you tell us why you voted the way you did? Comments below please, and we promise the blog won't bug out like it did this weekend (hint hint Bob Carter!)

Also, please welcome me to the blog with a special message (it's my first post).

Icarus out!

Here are the results of last Friday's vote. The next Funky Friday lesson is scheduled for MAY 29th 2009.

On the last Funky Friday, you were asked to vote on the following question:

Which mission does Philip choose?

Remember, this is YOUR choice - there is no right or wrong answer!

Philip's mission is to join the army. 11.53%

Philip needs to teach a parrot how to talk. 16.79%

Philip has to obtain and raise a child. 25.09%

Philip must say 'sorry' to everyone he has wronged in the past. 46.59%

It's official! GymGlish users have decided that Philip Cheeter has to say 'sorry' to everyone he has wronged or offended in the past! Will he be able to reach them all before he dies of old age? We'll find out in next month's Funky Friday!


Thanks again for your participation.

Let the commenting begin!

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Thank Goodness It's Funky Friday

Ah, funky friday! A day for funk, a day for frying, a day for you and me. As you are no doubt aware, today is the funkiest of funkies, and so we put to you a big question, but first, a bit of context. After a brief encounter with God in her Heavenly Office, Philip was told that he would be sent back to earth, but only on the condition that he completed a mission. You were to choose that mission. Here is the question one more time:

Which mission does Philip choose?

Remember, this is YOUR choice - there is no right or wrong answer!
Philip's mission is to join the army.
Philip needs to teach a parrot how to talk.
Philip has to obtain and raise a child.
Philip must say 'sorry' to everyone he has wronged in the past.

So, now is the time to weigh in and give us your opinion. Which mission did you vote for and why? Also, how did this Funky Friday make you feel inside, where your hearts are allegedly located? Let us know after the jump!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

My trip to Heaven so far

I must say, this Heaven place is kind of cool. They've got everything here: Angels, cloud sofas, champagne bubble baths. Anything a dead guy could want, at your fingertips. Everything is white though. It's like one of P.Diddy's parties in the Hamptons, or so I've been told. Anyway, since I've been here I've mainly been walking around, trying to meet hot dead people.

So far I've met Bruno's grandfather, Xavier, who is hot in the sense that he is on fire. He died in an explosion, and believe me, those flames are pretty cool. I imagine that's got to be a pretty awesome conversation starter in the local saloons. Otherwise, who else is cool here? Jimi Hendrix, he's a good dude. We smashed some guitars with St. Peter last night. Winston Churchill... that guy is a blast, but man can he talk your ear off. He kept trying to tell me that the only thing I had to fear was fear itself, but I wasn't trying to hear that. The guy can throw some darts though, I'll give him that. Marilyn Monroe... Two words: Crazy Cakes. I mean she's pretty, don't get me wrong, but you get her started talking about the Kennedys, and she'll start crying about Camelot and Jackie O for hours. Who else... Napoleon? That dude is pretty short. Plus I think he's packing heat in his jacket. Oh, if you go to heaven, you should definitely check out Martin Luther King's discotheque. That place is THE spot to be after midnight.

Other than that, I've just been chilling out, playing scrabble with Socrates, having tea with Lady Di and her roommate Cleopatra (much hotter in person), shot 9 holes of golf with Albert Einstein. He tried to teach me the theory of relativity; I taught him my favorite pick up lines. Good times... I could get used to a place like this...

Anyhow, I should run. Joan of Arc is giving me an archery lesson in 20.

Peace out, Earthlings!

Love, Philip

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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Being a special assistant

When I talk to dinner guests about my job, most are like: how many assistants does your boss need?

That's an easy one to answer: two.

One is his personal assistant: Polly Jane Watson. She does all the clerical stuff. I'm not saying that it's boring, but I don't think I could do that.

I'm Bruno's Special Assistant. I do the special stuff. I'm his aide, his body man, his dog walker, his pillow fluffer, his confidant, his food & beverage stylist, his biographer, his Umalohokan, his stunt double, his masseur, his Taikomochi...

Bruno's even thinking of adding some new responsibilities to my job. Can anyone think of any new tasks I could take on?

For example: Brian - I've always thought that you have the necessary skills to be Bruno's 'Groom of the Stool': you possess a steady hand, your knowledge of suitable reading material is unsurpassed, and you'll have excellent access not only to Bruno's ear but his rear as well.

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fool's!

Today's lesson featured a mighty funny joke executed by the team of professional pranksters at GymGlish. I found it quite amusing, aside from the fact that I was murdered, which is just a part of the perfume business I suppose. Anyhow, this prank has got me thinking about the best April Fool's jokes that have ever been played on me. Let's see, there was the time that Horatio revealed that he was my father right before he impaled me on his machete, then there was the time that I died after falling off of a giant nose-shaped float in a perfume parade. (I seem to die fairly frequently in early April, I've really got to do something about that). Oh, then there was that time that Susan Bliss seduced me in my office wearing nothing but tube socks and a rain slicker... oh wait, that was real! Hmm... too much information.

Here's your new assignment, staff and faithful blog followers (after you've finished doing your homework from my last post of course): Tell me about the best prank that you've played, or the best prank that's been played on you! Best prank wins an autographed tuna fish.

To your keyboards people!