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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Monday, May 24, 2010

My 15 minutes of fame

Hi guys! It's Icky here!

I recently had the great honor of being interviewed by a journalist from a highly-respected financial magazine which will remain nameless. I didn't think that many people would be interested in reading about little old me, but apparently sales of this edition of the magazine are through the roof!

As a special treat for our faithful blog readers, I've included a copy of the transcript below. Enjoy!

Interviewer: You are Chief Financial Officer of the Delavigne Corporation. You are responsible for billions of dollars. Your financial judgment could make or break the company. Is it true that you live with your mother?

Icarus: That's a bit personal, isn't it? I thought this interview was going to be about finance!

Interviewer: I'm sorry, let me rephrase that: are you able to save money by living with your mother?

Icarus: That's more like it! To be honest, I don't economize much money living with my mother - the rent is approximately $2000 per week! But I do get my own pillow... and I can stay up as late as I like.

Interviewer: How late?

Icarus: 8.17pm on school... I mean... work nights. 9.23pm at weekends.

Interviewer: Wow, such precision – I guess you were destined for a life in accounting! Was your mother surprised when you 'came out' as an accountant?

Icarus: Not really. She always had her suspicions that I was into numbers.

Interviewer: Really?

Icarus: Yes. She once found a calculator under my mattress. She told me that if I did calculations late at night, I might hurt my eyes – even go blind.

Interviewer: Well, you do wear glasses!

Icarus: I'm wearing clothes, too. Does that make me a pervert?

Interviewer: What?

Icarus: I don't know. I feel a bit weird. Perhaps you should ask me something that is unrelated to my mother.

Interviewer: Ok... What impact do you think President Obama's health reform will have on the US economy?

Icarus: That's a very good question... but I've got a better one: why does my left armpit always smell more than my right armpit?

Interviewer: You got me there.

Pretty cool, huh? Have you ever appeared in the media? I'd really like to get on television next. Does anyone have any tips for me?

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Blogger Hannah Benedict said...

That's fabulous, Icky! Weirdly, my RIGHT armpit tends to smell more than my LEFT. I have two theories:

1. I spray under my right armpit using my left hand, which is my weaker hand. So maybe I don't spray the deodorant out well enough.

2. Because I'm right-handed, I do more things with my right hand than my left. Maybe the extra work makes me sweat more on that side.

What do you think? Any other suggestions?

May 24, 2010 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Edward Moon said...

I can't afford deodorant, so both my armpits smell really bad.

May 24, 2010 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Hannah Benedict said...

I've got a load of free samples in my office! They're all women's fragrances, but you don't mind, right?

May 26, 2010 at 12:00 PM  
Anonymous Catherine said...

As far as I'm concerned, I use deodorant everyday, so that both my armpits smell very good!!!

May 26, 2010 at 7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Icarus
You could tell us more about you. pets, hobbies (out of calculation of course) relation ship with other members of Delavigne's corporation, etc... and what kind of weird you feel by talking of your mother. this reminds me an old black and white film by Hitchcock "Pshycho" with Anthony Perkins, Great character !!!

May 27, 2010 1:41 PM

May 27, 2010 at 1:41 PM  

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