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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Friday, May 28, 2010

Gangsters

Gangsters are a dying breed... literally... they always seem to be dying, many before their time. Some go out gloriously - guns blazing- but others go out quietly and weirdly, like Mr. Al Capone, who died of some weird disease... hardly worthy of his Capo di Tutti Capi status in my opinion. In any case, Al Capone, took some time out of his busy day to come down and visit the Delavigne Corporation today, and well, the results were interesting. He amassed a nice little body count in his time in San Franciso... 4 kills to be exact. A special mention in our blog goes to whoever can name the 4 people that died by way of Al Capone's Tommy Gun in today's Funky Friday! Goodluck, wise guys!

P.S. Extra special credit for the person that can name the disease that Al eventually died from.

Have a nice, gangster and gun fire-free weekend.

Best,
Bruno

Monday, May 24, 2010

My 15 minutes of fame

Hi guys! It's Icky here!

I recently had the great honor of being interviewed by a journalist from a highly-respected financial magazine which will remain nameless. I didn't think that many people would be interested in reading about little old me, but apparently sales of this edition of the magazine are through the roof!

As a special treat for our faithful blog readers, I've included a copy of the transcript below. Enjoy!


Interviewer: You are Chief Financial Officer of the Delavigne Corporation. You are responsible for billions of dollars. Your financial judgment could make or break the company. Is it true that you live with your mother?

Icarus: That's a bit personal, isn't it? I thought this interview was going to be about finance!

Interviewer: I'm sorry, let me rephrase that: are you able to save money by living with your mother?

Icarus: That's more like it! To be honest, I don't economize much money living with my mother - the rent is approximately $2000 per week! But I do get my own pillow... and I can stay up as late as I like.

Interviewer: How late?

Icarus: 8.17pm on school... I mean... work nights. 9.23pm at weekends.

Interviewer: Wow, such precision – I guess you were destined for a life in accounting! Was your mother surprised when you 'came out' as an accountant?

Icarus: Not really. She always had her suspicions that I was into numbers.

Interviewer: Really?

Icarus: Yes. She once found a calculator under my mattress. She told me that if I did calculations late at night, I might hurt my eyes – even go blind.

Interviewer: Well, you do wear glasses!

Icarus: I'm wearing clothes, too. Does that make me a pervert?

Interviewer: What?

Icarus: I don't know. I feel a bit weird. Perhaps you should ask me something that is unrelated to my mother.

Interviewer: Ok... What impact do you think President Obama's health reform will have on the US economy?

Icarus: That's a very good question... but I've got a better one: why does my left armpit always smell more than my right armpit?

Interviewer: You got me there.



Pretty cool, huh? Have you ever appeared in the media? I'd really like to get on television next. Does anyone have any tips for me?

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