It is I, Horatio.
They asked me to tell you all about Waltzing Matilda. I don't know of this Matilda. I may have met her once in a bar, but she wasn't waltzing at the time, she was being sick on my shoes.
So I look to see why she is so famous. Then I discover the Australians love her. They sing about her every time they get drunk, which is to say a lot.
When Joan Wayne and I got drunk on Bondi Beach, we sang Waltzing Matilda, and Joan took me for a waltz in the ocean. Then she changed partners with a shark. Poor Joan, it is a shame that the shark did not like her dancing.
I don't want to give you the official story of Waltzing Matilda, that is what Wikipedia is for. I want to leave you to think about my good friend Joan Wayne. I hope you like her song.