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Thursday, May 28, 2015

Strange Fruit

Today I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Ms. Framboise Houdin.

She seems to be a strange fruit. Very insistent on the correct pronunciation of her name, as if such a thing were important.

What's in a name? As the great bard Shakespeare proclaimed: A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. At least that's what I think he said. I'm much more concerned about some other things.

1. Where is the dog walker? Brian promised that he or she would be here first thing in the morning. I can't possibly take Stink out right now, which brings me to concern number 2.

2. I will force Edward to submit to my will.

That boy is sneaky strong. I don't know where he learned to wrestle, but the kid's got skills. I wish he would apply them to making better coffee, though. Seems like he's been doing this type of thing since he was young. Here's a family photo:

3. Philip turning over a new leaf.

Apparently Philip Cheeter is in the market for a life coach!

Who knew that he was capable of change? I wonder what prompted this resolution: His constant womanizing? His overwhelming hubris? His crippling inability to do his own laundry?

If Occam's razor has taught me anything, it's that the most common answer is generally the most obvious. He's probably trying to date Framboise.

4. Jean needs a friend. And who better to be that friend than Framboise? They both seem to be on the same intellectual plane. And by that I mean they're both imbeciles. Sorry for being harsh, but honestly, I have no idea how those two got hired here.

Lastly, we must discuss Horatio's human sacrifice proposal.

I feel like legally that will get us in some trouble, but still, I'm really tempted to see where this is going. I think the press would be amazing. Amazingly bad, but hey, no publicity is bad publicity. Shakespeare also said that.

Anyway, let me know what you think Framboise should do with her new career at the Delavigne Corp. Your comments mean everything to me.

Best, Bruno.