The Delavigne Corporation Blog

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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Delavigne's Basement

First of all, I was only down there looking for a replacement for Brian's glass eye. I'm not temporarily living in Delavigne's basement or anything. Honest.

Anyway, I had a totally legitimate reason to be in the basement, and soon I had a totally legitimate reason to be terrified. I heard some terrible sounds - screams - pleasure mixed with pain, a bit like Hellraiser. I think it was Philip. I knew he had a bit of a reputation as the office pervert, but I didn't expect such foul-minded depravity. Don't take my word for it - listen to the recording I made on my phone!

What do you think is going on? Moreover, what do you think I should do with this recording? It's already on the Internet, the natural home for sensitive and potentially damaging material. Should I go the whole way and blackmail Philip? Or just sample it and put it into a song? The possibilities are endless. I'd sure appreciate some guidance from my Internet buddies. And if you could hook me up with a girl while you're at it, it would be much appreciated. And tell them to turn of the AC off in the basement at night. It's very noisy and difficult to sleep.

Your boy not in the basement,



Blogger Unknown said...

Giving this tape to our ears is already is mean move.
If you want to harm your colleague you could pût it on YouTube with some tweaking and weird keywords. Plus announcing the post on Facebook, Twitter... most of the Social Network. With the Delavigne press communication you could even go further but why would you do it ?
As I said Phillip is you colleague. If I were you I would certainly delete those files and empty the Trash right after.

You had better try to get an appointment with Framboise.

July 17, 2015 at 8:07 AM  

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