Social media is real life, kids

Hi world,

I've just had a look at the new social media profiles, they're AMAZING! I want to befriend these Delavigne managers immediately. I thought we were friends already, but now I know only social media can bring real friendship.

Who knew that my colleagues could be so attractive and distinguished? I mean, I have lunch with them every day and I just can't see past Icarus's ticks, Susan's spots or Philip's belching. Thanks social media, you really know how to portray people in their truest light!

I just hope they get the validation they need by racking up those likes, views, followers, thumbs-up and contacts on LockedIn. That's what truly matters!

Have a great weekend online, and don't forget to 'Like' me, my page is below!

Brian Jones
https://www.facebook.com/brianasjones