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The Delavigne Corporation Blog

The Delavigne Corporation Blog, powered by Gymglish, Online English lessons.



The Delavigne Corporation Blog

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A message from your future President

Okay, I know TV has tight schedules: programs are timed to the millisecond, and they are sometimes obliged to cut stuff out of broadcasts. However, Krazy Gideon's decision to leave out my comments from the recent presidential debate is, quite frankly, crazy annoying.

That's right, I made some very important comments on the environment. It is criminal that perspective voters were not allowed to hear what I tried to say, and above all, try and imagine what I might have said if had better communication skills.

Fortunately, a bloke who works in the VT room owes me a favour (I let him punch me in the face once), so he was able to give me a recording of this part of the debate.

Here it is, below, in its full, uncut glory. Powerful words at a time when others are not saying powerful words. Most presidential candidates don't even know any power chords on the guitar. I know 3!


There you have it. Unlike other candidates, I have a consistent policy on the environment: I don't really know what it is, and I don't know what to do about it. 

As I also proposed in the debate, I promise to firmly place cheddar cheese at the heart of Europe. I will usher in a glorious era of cheese and pickle sandwiches (with a generous helping of ready salted crisps to compliment the taste). There is not a metaphor here, I just really like this taste combination.

VOTE FOR EDWARD. IT'S A VOTE FOR CHEDDAR. IT'S A VOTE FOR WHATEVER THE ENVIRONMENT IS.




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